Let Go
by HolyJeevas012
Summary: What if the naval officer had never saved Ralph? What would have happened to him? And how would Jack have felt about this? Rated T for safety. SLASH JackxRalph


**M'Kay, first things first, THIS IS A SLASH (one sided slash, but slash all the same), so no slash-bashin', please. I did give ya fair warning x3 **

**This is an on-the-island fic, but I've made all the boys a little bit older (let's say... 15-16 ish) ****I decided to do this because I think the idea of a 12 year old boy being in love is a little silly :s ****Anyways, I hope you like it! I tried to write it from Jack's POV, ) but I feel I may have screwed it up a bit -_- Let me know about any mistakes! **

**Also, in Jack's memories, things are a little different to how they were in the book. I used events in the book to inspire ideas, but I didn't copy it word-for-word, or anything like that...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOTF. If I did, I wouldn't have to write fan fiction, now would I? :P**

**Let Go**

I watch Ralph run through the blazing canopy, as the whimpers and pants burst from his mouth. I watch him stumble as the thick creepers grab him, his limbs flailing wildly in desperation. I watch his hair sway from to side to side, sweat trickling down his back. I hear him moan as the branches strike him, hacking away at his tender, pink flesh.

He leaves a trail of glistening scarlet, which we discover as we pass. I watch Roger light up with a twisted pleasure. He raises his spear, and cries out angrily:

"_**KILL THE PIG! CUT HIS THROAT! BASH HIM IN!" **_

His spear cuts the air like a javelin, and narrowly missing the golden-haired prey.

I hear Ralph squeal in desperation and panic, and he dashes faster into the forest. He has soon disappeared from my view.

"_ROGER! LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"_

I feel a surge of pain strike my chest, but I am unsure whether its from the running or not...

...

_Why didn't you just agree with me? Why didn't you just join my tribe? _

_I didn't want it to come to this, Ralph. I never wanted it to come to this..._

_..._

Roger engages the tribe in chant, cruel, snide smile spread on his lips.

My stomach is sickened by Roger's brutality, for the first time ever since the island's divide.

My lieutenant has ignored my spiteful cries, re-claiming his spear as he passes by it. He dashes ahead of the rest of us, laughing maniacally as he does.

"_**KILL THE PIG! KILL THE PIG!" **_

"_Roger!"_

I listen as my hunter's cheer, savage chanting growing louder.

…

_...Why aren't I cheering him on? _

_He's a hunter...and Ralph is the prey..._

_...Ralph_

_..._

I know now that something is wrong. Something is different.

Something has changed.

I think of Ralph and I begin to cry louder, memories claiming my entire being.

I watch them flash before my eyes...

…

_I climb Castle Rock, with batty old Simon and the blonde boy called Ralph. _

_Ralph is our Chief, which I do find irritating. I should have been Chief. I know I should of. But there is something about Ralph that do quite like. _

_He is lightly tanned and very slim, but in a way that isn't frail. His crystal eyes show both strength and compassion. Without argument, his face is the most handsome face of the island. _

_I eye it with a subtle envy, pressing a hand to my own pasty cheek. I can almost sense my ugliness. _

_My retched, haggard features. _

_I continued to stare at his with a hint of jealousy, until our hands press to the rocks peak, and Ralph begins to laugh like a madman. He smiles at me with a genuine liking, and edges closer. So close to me that our shoulder's brush._

_My stony heart leaps and my freckled face reddens._

_Oh God...he has such a beautiful smile..._

_..._

My pale blue eyes are widening now, and I am crying out for Roger hysterically.

I do not encourage the dark boys hunt. I scorn and condemn.

"_ROGER! COME BACK! **ROGER!**" _

He does not answer, but I hear his crazed laughter sound from ahead. I will my legs to travel faster, and I find I am kicking through hot, white sand.

I look around frenziedly, blue eyes searching for the two boys.

I see them now. They're running towards the end of the beach.

Ralph pants are quick and sharp, and I can see his legs our beginning to wobble.

I can hear my hunters begin to jeer, as Roger is bounding ever closer.

I watch with a horror that cannot be explained, a lump in my throat, plugging my words.

…

_Ralph is sat on the long, hazel log. He is tapping the space next to him, smiling warmly in my direction. _

_I smile back at him. _

_Its hard not to with a smile that..._

_I sit by his side, and are bodies are close. I feel a fluttering in my chest again. _

"_Hullo" he says, his broad grin widening further._

"_Hullo" I reply, gentle blush gracing my cheeks._

_He nods at me gently, then picks up his conch and begins his assembly._

_..._

I watch Ralph collapse into the gilded grains, his body sinking into its comforting warmth.

Roger acts in an instant, pouncing onto the blondes weak frame, securing a grip around his small neck.

I cannot move. My body is lead.

I can only stare, as my heart slowly breaks.

...

_I stare at Ralph and he stares at me. We're having a fight. Our first real fight..._

_I feel so confused. We all wanted meat. Does Ralph not want meat? Why is so obsessed with the shelters and the fire and with being rescued?_

_I thought my kill would have impressed him. I was so desperate to show it to him. To tell him about it..._

_I feel my heart sinking as I look at Ralph, bewildered by the hate in his eyes. _

_I can't bear this..._

_Its breaking me._

"_I'm so sorry, Ralph"_

…

And reality hits me like a ton of bricks.

I understand now.

I understand...

Tears threaten my misty blue eyes.

I don't want for Ralph to get hurt. I've never wanted for him to get hurt.

I just want him to be part of my tribe. For our bodies to be close, and our friendship closer. To hear him laugh. To see him smile.

Ralph and me.

Together forever.

Roger slowly raises his spear, eyes gleaming with a sickening passion.

…

"_My name is Jack Merridew"_

"_Hullo there. I'm Ralph"_

…

His spear is rising ever higher, and I feel my body start to shake

...

"_We need meat. I'm going to hunt"_

"_I'll stay here and build the shelters..."_

_We stare at each other in love and hate._

…

Everything seems so unreal now. I hear the savages chanting and screaming, and I see Ralph struggling under Roger's body.

My legs begin to wobble mercilessly and one foot suddenly wills itself forward.

Before I know it, I am running towards them, tears running free down my cheeks.

….

_Love and hate._

…

Roger screams, and he is closing the gap between Ralph and the spear. I can see the sunlight shine on his face.

It is twisted and maddened, full of passion and hate.

Then I see the light shine off of Ralph's.

His face is angelic, beautiful, and frightened.

He is perfect.

He is my addiction, my craving, my every want and my every need.

…

_Love._

….

The gap is closed with one swift blow. Ralph yelps loudly once, then there is unbearable silence.

The light of Ralph's eyes is dimming already, and I can hear his breathing growing shallow.

I am too late.

...

_No. _

_Oh God._

_Please. _

_No._

_..._

I sink down to my hands and knees, shaking my head in disbelief. Sobs are erupting from my throat, and my masked face is pressed into to my hands.

I cry to myself without any shame, wide mouth wailing and eyes leaking salty water.

_..._

_Ralph_

_..._

My eyes raise slowly and find Roger in an instant. He stands proudly over Ralph's body, turning to the others, who all cheer in triumph.

I look to Ralph, and then to Roger.

My nostrils flare and my breathing grows deeper.

I feel the rage boil up inside. Rage that simply cannot be contained.

I pounce on the devil in a human shell and my fist collides with his damned face. I pant and hiss, punching and punching, until his face and my fist are red with blood. I cry out a magnificent cry, fists clenched and dirty teeth snarling. I sit over Roger's unconscious body, hatred shining in my darkened blue eyes.

Then I remember.

I remember Ralph.

I jump off of Roger carelessly, running to the wounded Ralph's side.

He is so weak, eyes half closed, the sand beneath him staining red. I press one hand to the back of his head, and the other to his bloodied chest.

"...Ralph?" I start, my gentle voice steadily breaking "...Say something..._please_"

My trembling voice is now a mere whisper. My tears fall freely on his chest, mixing with the freshly spilled blood.

"_I never wanted this to happen Ralph. I never wanted this to happen..."_

My sobs are growing louder now, as I lie down in the sand beside him, burrowing my face into his neck

I gulp in my uneasy breath, a tight grip on the angel beside me.

"_I'm so sorry" _I hiss, face crumpling as I nuzzle his skin, inhaling his scent. It was still so sweet...

"_...Jack?" _

I lift up my head to stare at him, the sound of his voice giving me strength.

I clasp his right hand as tight as possible, and a bitter-sweet smile spreads on my lips

"Yes, Ralph. I'm here"

Ralph does not respond. He just blinks at me and repeats my name

"_...Jack..."_

I pull him up into my arms, holding him close, gently slowly stroking his knotted blonde locks.

I look down on him, sniveling like the saddest of Littluns.

I force myself to smile once again.

"_Hullo"_ I whisper, tremors shaking my entire body.

Ralph looks at me, and after a long, slow blink, he replies.

"_Hullo" _he croaks, voice trailing off with a gentle breath.

"...Ralph?"

I feel his body grow limp in my arms, and his crystal eyes slowly glaze over.

He takes one last gentle breath, and then his body is still and relaxed.

My faces contorts and my cries fill the air. I cradle Ralph's body like a sleeping baby, rocking him gently back and forth. My vision is blurred by a downpour of tears.

_Ralph..._

After a few minutes, I slowly stop rocking, sobs still shaking me viciously. I stare deep into the boy's lifeless eyes, feeling my heart crumble to dust.

"_Oh Ralph..."_

I bring my fingers to his powder white lids, and slowly lower my hand.

His azure eyes are gently closed.

I stare at him adoringly, running a hand over his cheek.

_He could have almost been sleeping..._

He is a glorious angel. Free now to spread his wings.

I pressed my lips each closed eye, and then, softly, to his motionless mouth.

I whisper three words, as I slowly pull my lips away. The tide rolls in and I let it claim him. Ralph is captured in its watery grasp, floating gently on it's rippling surface.

The tide cradles Ralph with a loving care, as it had cradled Simon and Piggy.

The tide rolls back out, and my golden-haired angel is free to fly.

I watch him, enveloped in love and sorrow, as his body is carried out to sea.

**I'm sorry about killing Ralph. Hate me it you so wish. x3**

**But anywho, REVIEW! XXX (****If you do, The Lord of The Flies will bring you cookies) **

**~xWinterRose123 x~ **


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